Personality

Matt and I had another counseling session last night. The therapist concentrated on the placement of our personalities and how they may be affecting our relationship. What he explained is generally it breaks down into 4 basic personality types, as seen here.

After our little personality tests we talked about what the 4 were and where we thought ourselves and each other were.  You will have a main personality type and a secondary one. Apparently we are both the same but Matt is Choleric with a secondary of Melancholic and i am complete opposite as a Melancholic with a secondary of Choleric. That can explain why we have issues, lol!
Choleric personalities are Goal based, they keep their eye on the prize and that is all that really matters in most situations. Sometimes (most of the time) they can come off as uncaring and bossy. Melancholic personalities are Relationship based and look towards ways to have better relationships with the ones they love. They generally forget about themselves and care for others first which can lead to depression.
Now with Matt and i having the same of both but different "goals" that come first is causing our problems.
Here are some strengths and weaknesses of each of the personalities and a chart i found on another website.


The 4 Personalities

 SANGUINE <----Briana

Popular

BEST AT:

Making initial contact with people

Creating enthusiasm and excitement

Encouraging and uplifting others

Insuring the group has fun

PRESENTS AS:

Outgoing and engaging

MAJOR NEEDS:

Fun and adventure

CHOLERIC<---Matt

KEYWORD:

Powerful

BEST AT:

Motivating people to action

Giving quick and clear instruction

Getting it done

Leading

PRESENTS AS:

Authoritative and convincing

MAJOR NEEDS:

Action and excitement

PHLEGMATIC <--- Elijah
KEYWORD:
Peaceful

BEST AT:

Staying calm and functional

Not over reacting to a negative situation

Effective listener

Making sure the group is relaxed and comfortable

PRESENTS AS:

Believable

MAJOR NEEDS:

Rest and quiet time

MELANCHOLY<----Me

KEYWORD:

Perfect

BEST AT:

Planning and explaining the details

Doing it right

Sensitive to the needs of others

Good with numbers, charts, graphs, etc.

PRESENTS AS:

Accurate and sincere

MAJOR NEEDS:

Order and understanding

Personality Strengths and Weaknesses:

I am going to look into just mine and Matts personalities and i will link you all to the page so that you can study your own and take a personality test to see where you land. Fun stuff!

Me:

Strengths:

Scheduleoriented

Perfectionist, high standards

Detailconscious

Persistent and thorough

Orderly and organized

Neat and tidy

Economical

Sees the problems

Finds creative solutions

Needs to finish what he starts

Likes charts, graphs, figures, lists

Deep and thoughtful

Analytical

Serious and purposeful

Geniusprone

Talented and creative

Artistic or musical

Philosophical and poetic

Appreciative of beauty

Sensitive to others

Selfsacrificing

Conscientious

Idealistic

Makes friends cautiously

Content to stay in background

Avoids causing attention

Faithful and devoted

Will listen to complaints

Can solve other’s problems

Deep concern for other people

Moved to tears with compassion

Weaknesses:

Not peopleoriented

Depressed over imperfections

Chooses difficult work

Hesitant to start projects

Spends too much time planning

Prefers analysis to work

Selfdeprecating

Hard to please

Standards often too high

Deep need for approval.

Remembers the negatives

Moody and depressed

Off in another world

Low selfimage

Has selective hearing

Selfcentered

Too introspective

Guilt feelings

Persecution complex

Tends to hypochondria

Lives through others

Insecure socially

Withdrawn and remote

Critical of others

Holds back affection

Dislikes those in opposition

Suspicious of people

Antagonistic and vengeful

Full of contradictions


Matt:


Strengths:

Born leader

Dynamic and active

Compulsive need for change

Must correct wrongs

Strongwilled

and decisive

Not easily discouraged

Independent and selfsufficient

Exudes confidence

Has little need for friends

Will work for group activity

Will lead and organize

Is usually right

Goaloriented

Sees the whole picture

Organizes well

Seeks practical solutions

Moves quickly to action

Delegates work

Insists on production

Makes the goal

Stimulates activity

Thrives on opposition


Weaknesses:

Bossy

Impatient

Quicktempered

Can’t relax

Too impetuous

Enjoys controversy & arguments

Won’t give up when losing

Comes on too strong

Inflexible

Is not complimentary

Dislikes tears and emotions

Is unsympathetic

Tends to use people

Dominates others

Decides for others

Knows everything

Can do everything better

Is too independent

Possessive of friends and mate

Can’t say, “I’m sorry”

May be right but unpopular

Little tolerance for mistakes

Doesn’t analyze details

Bored by trivia

May make rash decisions

May be rude or tactless

Manipulates people

Demanding of others

End justifies the means

Work may become his god

Demands loyalty in the ranks.


Now its pretty easly noted we are similar in many ways, but our spacific goals are clashing
 (Me- my relationships and him- his goals) and that is what causes many of the problems in our relationship. I feel studying these aspects of ourselves we can see what we are doing and how to better work together instead of against each other. It is also helpful to see where Briana and Elijah are so that we can better work with our childrens emotional needs to nuture and raise them to bring out their very best qualities!


Here is the link to the rest of the page:
http://www.mensfraternity.com/assets/documents/text/LeaderGuide_WH_Four%20Personalities%20Handout.pdf


And a link to a fun personality test:
http://www.profnet.org/person2.html


(They will send it to your email)


I often wonder what Stella's personality wouldve been........


Stella, I love and miss you more than words could ever describe. Please keep your hand on mommy and daddys hearts to that we may become the parents and spouses God wants us to be.
Love, hugs, kisses and tears to you in heaven baby girl <3
Love Always, Mommy