Books

Since loosing Stella, i obvously turned to all sorts of different ways of finding help. On-line was my first place i found comfort, meeting and getting to know others and their stories, what has helped them and the knowledge that i am not alone in this. I have a great list of wonderful angel moms and support sites along the side of this page. Lately i have been in books. I read the book "An Exact Replica of the Figment of My Imagination" and i LOVED it. I got a few others from the library, some i didn't care too much for & others wouldve been more helpful in the very early stages of my grief. I picked up "They Were Still Born" just last Monday and have been reading that. It is a compilation of many others' stories of their experience with stillbirth. It is a serious tear jerker that is for sure and VERY WELL WRITTEN! There is a paragraph at the beginning of the 4th chapter that i love and wanted to share here with all of you.

"Probably there is nothing in human nature more resonant with charges than the flow of energy between two biologically alike bodies, one of which is lain in amniotic bliss inside of the other, one of which has labored to give birth to the other. The materials are here for the deepest mutuality and the most painful estrangement"  - Adrienne Rich, feminist and author.

Many people dont realize the difference of Stillbirth from miscarriage.  The similarities are there, that i am aware of, but the difference is labor and delivery. Or being in the VERY last moments of an entire pregnancy with the car seat and nursery ready, then to leave empty armed is just life shattering.
Reading stories of others who have been on this road has comforted me in many ways, but also anger me in many. The occurrence of stillbirth is FAR TOO MUCH. It occurs 2Xs as much as SIDS or Downs Syndrome yet there is nothing done to reduce those numbers. There has got to be something that can be done to understand why this occurs and how to prevent it. I dont know how or WHY Stella died, and that eats me up inside everyday. I dont know what happened to her besides the fact that my body failed me durring the most important time in my child's life that depended on my body to get her here safely.
Sorry, i ramble on occurrence.

But my point is that lately reading has been a good form of helping me grieve, understand and connect with what has happened to my daughter. A few books i would recommend, after reading them myself, to those on this path if grief would be:

An Exact Replica of the Figment of My Imagination~ Elizabeth McCracken
They Were Still Born~ Janel C. Atlas
Still~Stephanie Paige Cole
Ill Hold you in Heaven~ Jack Hayford

I am planning on reading a few more that i have on hold at the library when i finish this current book. I also have on hold; Jocelyn's Purpose, Stillbirth, Life Touches Life, Mourning Sickness & Wonderfully Made.
I will let you know my review on those when i finish them. If anyone else has read good books on grieving and infant loss please feel free to comment and share your own personal review.

Again I truely appreciate all of you who take time to come and read my thoughts and words, especially all who leave comments. Its good to know people still care. Many will forget, but this is something bereaved parents will live with for the rest of their lives here on Earth. A child is missing from their daily head counts, their breakfast table, at dinner.....My daughter is still gone everyday that is something i will never forget, but i am trying my hardest to somehow find a way to accept.

God Bless and Thanks for reading.
~Krystal