Giving it to God

I was thinking, as i always do, far too much. Inspecting all the little shards of my life as i was picking them up from the ground. Thinking about the fears, the worries, the troubles, the issues and problems i have to battle daily. The battles that are far more magnified after loosing a child. I feel like i am in a war zone with myself every time i get out of bed, leave the house or go to the grocery store (((shudders))).  I hear it all the time, everyone from my family, friends, my pastor to people i don't even know.... "Give it to God"
This phrase confuses me, a lot. How do you just "give it to God" ? What are you "giving"  and HOW?
Give my worries? My pain?  How?
I worry about everything now. I fear life and just hate it sometimes, really. I used to be so carefree, laid back, attuned to my surroundings and just at peace with life. I am no longer feeling any of that.
I trusted God that Stella would be fine, that if there was an emergency situation, like having to have a Csect of all God awful things to happen (in my eyes at the time) that Stella would make it here, safe and alive. I DID TRUST that. But it didn't happen. How am i suppose to trust again. Trust that i can just give all my worries and problems to God? It wasn't OK, things are NOT "OK" with this situation. Its NOT RIGHT. And now i just have to live this life like everything is honkey dorey? Like i can just go ahead and trust whatever, GIVE my problems and worries away like, maybe next time, it will be OK.
Is it just not giving a shit anymore? Just the idea like "Yeah we all die and as long as you believe, all will be glorious and perfect".......Once we leave this place, which is much like hell IMO.
But you have to suffer and live in pain until then and just keep hope and faith that AFTER the BS, it will be ok???  Is that it? Deal with the BS and not give a crap cause this all doesn't matter?
I don't get it. I am sad, I am hurt, my daughter is DEAD and I just have to deal with that? I just have to give all my worries to God? The worries i have about my family and their health? My mental fucking well being? The fact i need to go out and join the stupid world and the "workforce" someday again....soon cause i am hearing it already, and pretend like life is just A'OK? 
I pray, i pray all the time, that God protects my family, everyone in it. That God will protect my sanity since i am on the verge of loosing it EVERYDAY. I am not even sure if i AM sane anymore. So, yes, that i am hoping, i can just trust in God. That he takes me first so i don't have to endure the suffering of losing the rest of my family before i escape the atrocity of this place. I suppose life could be good if you didn't have to pick it up from the ground shard by shard, and each little shard didn't leave you in pain and bleeding as you sat and inspected them. I guess then life could be great. Too bad its just not in the cards for me.  Ignorance is bliss, and i am too damn focused on reality. Shame i guess.
So the Question is, how do you just give it to God? What are you giving and how?
I would love to hear from other baby loss mommas or people who have lost children or loved ones and hear how your trust in God has changed. Has it? Do you feel more trusting in God, less? Just as confused as I am? 

God Bless and thanks for reading.
~Krystal