2/11/11

Then~Summer of 1999

Now~Brianas first day of 6th grade!

Yesterday my oldest daughter turned 12 years old. I am in shock of this. When i had her i was a month past my 16th birthday and my husband was just 6 months past his 15th birthday! I cannot believe how much she had changed my life from the moment i read that pregnancy test, through the years and up to her 12th birthday. She is growing and maturing now so fast. Makes me miss Stella even more so. Briana prayed and prayed to have a baby sister and God only granted her that for 9 months in my womb. She was so excited when i came home from the U/S and had the cake and card with the gender sealed inside. I let Briana open the card and she was over the moon to read she was expecting a little sister. She is still grieving deeply, i notice it everyday.She will write letters to Stella, draw pictures with her name written on them, she even now sleeps with a blanket and doll that i had bought for Stella when i was shopping for my little sisters baby shower. I purchased 2 matching dolls, one w/ brown hair and eyes for Stella and one with blonde hair and blue eyes for Addison. The day before yesterday everyone kind of had a little breakdown in their grief and she told me she was crying half the night and clutching that blanket and doll. It breaks my heart to see my family having the same feeling i do. I  know they hurt so deeply as i do and it just breaks my heart. 
I hope my daughter is granted 100 more healthy happy blessed years upon this earth, she deserves it. She deserves the world for how much she changed my life, she saved my life really.

Yesterday i also spent the day painting some names in the snow as a valentines day gift to bereaved parents. A mother i had met online and lives close came to help as well. It was great talking with her and relating to so many of the same feelings.

I had over 50 requests and have another 20 to do today. I am excited, today is overcast so the pictures will turn out much better! No dodging shadows!!  Hope everyone has a blessed day and wonderful weekend. I will post the album when i get them all edited and uploaded!