Waste of time

So i barely made it through my first day back at work last night. I was reminded just how much i hate working there, nothings changed. I went in and of course people were either ignoring me and wouldn't even look at me, said a meek hello or was all like "OH welcome back! Hows the baby!?" Then i go into the bar and its a MESS, as usual. I am a friggin CLEAN FREAK and HATED working in the bar and cleaning up after everyone from the night before, NOT MY JOB! I didn't make the $300+ last night and make the mess! I came in at 4, opened the bar, cleaned their mess and stocked their empties and found about 5 bottles with out tops on them filled with fruit flies. GROSS! This is a 5 star place assholes! Treat it like one. I wouldn't drink there myself honestly. gross. So i got the bar opened and my first customers of course are some regulars that i haven't seen since i was preggo, and OF COURSE the first thing they say is "So tell me about the exciting event!" yeah, no thanks. I think they got the clue when i started tearing up and said "not good"
 He said he was sorry and left it at that. They were quick to leave too, when they are guys that hang for awhile usually. I am like the fucking plague to some people, no joke. So then there are 2 new girls that started working there, now i am training also on my first day back, yay! : /
The guy that was giving me crap about dropping my hours when i was huge and preggo is going to be the manager, fucking skippy. He is an ass kissing pubescent 22 year old. But that is apparently how you get places at the grand, by kissing ass.  I need to find a new job, quick. There is just too much stress involved there, and a grudge i hold for making me work SO HARD ( i mean like 4-5 10hour days in a row w/out breaks sometimes while i was preggo) and now not giving me my mat pay!? I am just done. I just want to be with my family. Cause you never know how much time you have left with them, i could die tomorrow on my way home from serving a ton of ass holes from us cellular who DONT TIP for shit. Would that be worth it? I think not.  The money i bring home doesn't make up for the stress that comes along with it, not even close.
I am not sure what i want to do anymore. Most days id just rather curl up into a ball and die. Screw it, this world FUCKING SUCKS! Ill see my kids and hubby in heaven, which is apparently much better than this hell.  Waste of time and time is gone every second. Time can get fucking lost for all i care. I think i deserve the debbie downer award of the year lately. sorry, thanks for reading my pessimistic rant of the day.