dreams, thoughts and feelings

All of these aspects in my mind are so very different but bound tightly together and create each other really. I have very vivid dreams all the time, and can even vividly remember some dreams i have had as a child. Last night i dreamed that i was by a river, somewhere in the amazon and Briana fell in off of a cliff.  I was screaming to her to grab the branch in the river to stay afloat and not rush away in the current. She was having a hard time staying afloat but i made it to her in time to pull her out. Then later in the dream  i remember being pregnant and something about a chalk board with upcoming concerts for each month written on it. I was suppose to go to a Phish concert or maybe i was even at one for a little while in my dream.  Then i remember being in the street and some of my family was there, there were a lot of children. It was sunny and nice out, and we were all on a main road in the town i grew up in (main St by buena park rd, but it was before any of the condos were built). I think i was pregnant still and i had these kite like pinwheel flowers and was trying to get them to fly for the kids. There was a little girl there with curly blondish hair. She seems to be in my dreams a lot, but I'm not sure who she is. She was about 2 years old in my dream last night.  But she was upset because the one pinwheel kite things i had wasn't flying right or something so i was helping her get it to fly in the wind. In the dreams where she appears i am always helping her somwhow.
Then i was with my brother Karl and his wife Kate, playing with their son Carson at some randon house. I remember being so happy for them but having such jealousy. Then becoming depressed and just sitting on the couch but I was suppose to make some kind of big dinner for everyone. & I was in my ubderwear and a Tshirt. Odd, i know.
Dreams leave me with such odd thoughts and feelings.  I am sure most of my thoughts and feelings of the days prior cause some of these dreams to occur or even vice versa. Today however, i am left with thoughts and feelings of jealousy, which i really do not like.  Jealousy makes me feel angry and in turn just depressed because i don't have what i should, Stella. Doing all those beautiful baby things she should be, that Carson was doing in my dream, that all the babies on my DDC online are doing, what my neice Addison is doing.
It is such a hard brutal feeling to get over and i don't like it, but its there and honestly there is nothing i can do about it. I can try to manage my thoughts to be more positive, but my feelings take over & then the dreams flood in and i am right back at square one. You just can not hide from your dreams or your feelings. 
Sorry if this post seems quite ramblish and confusing. But that is where i am lately; just confused, emotional & lost.

God Bless & thank you for reading.