A New Year

As i sit here and reflect on this past year i see that 2010 for me was probably one of the most trying years i have had thus far in my time here on earth. I was pregnant for just about the entire year, starting in February and lasting through the end of the month of October. I worked my keister off  and that wore me down completely. It was also trying on my marriage, as every year has been, but this year proved to put our bond to the ultimate test with the loss of our daughter Stella, and continues to be. I looked back at my FB statuses from 2010 and the majority of them talked and complained about working too much. I would put in 4 or 5 10 hour shifts a week, and many nights in a row. Being pregnant and standing for that long continuously really was over straining. Especially staying up so late at night and having to wake with a 2/3 year old early in the morning.  I started my maternity leave at the beginning of October, after a fight just to get it, and lost Stella Oct. 28th at 11:27am. My life is now changed forever and i have to figure out how to keep going somehow.  Each New Year gives us the opportunity to make a fresh start,  a resolution, to make a plan or promise to resolve a problem we had encountered in the last year, to make this new one a better year. I am not sure i can "resolve" the problems i have encountered completely, but i can learn to accept and use my trials to make this next year one that i grow and learn in. I will try hard to become the person i believe God wants me to be. A better mother, wife, friend, co-worker what ever i may be. I know i am different, i feel different now. I just need to learn to make this difference in me a better me somehow.
God bless, thank you for reading, and may your new year also be blessed with life, love and laughter. Happy New Year!