challanges

Day after day i find myself with new sets of challanges. Many of which i feel i could never "accomplish" One day it may be just getting out of bed and the next is welcoming Stella's best friend into this world with out her. Today is a reflection day for me, to sit and reflect on what has been these past 19 days with out my beautiful Stella. Ill look at pictures, and engrave her beautiful face into my heart, mind and soul (not that id ever forget it) To feel her presence, she is REAL, somedays its all like a dream, others too real and too raw for me to even handle. I grew her in me for 9 months, a perfect little body ready to be filled with life and grow. Ready to live the dreams and asperations i had been dreaming of for the last 9 months. What happened!?!?! where did you go? what went wrong? these questions will NEVER be answered, not here, not on earth. There lies another challange, accepting that. Accepting the fact that she is GONE, all of those dreams are GONE, her beautiful little body GONE. gone. gone. That may be the biggest challange i will ever face, my child, gone.
Stella, you may be gone, but you will NEVER be forgotton. <3 mommy.