Just so you " know"

I wanted to let everyone who reads this blog know that first off I write here to process my grief, my deepest darkest parts of this grief. Losing a full term baby the way I did Fucking SUCKS. Yes I know it hurts my family and friends too, I get that. But this is MY life, My body, MY future, MY CHILD who died. She is gone from this life and I have to learn how to deal with that. My body is forever scared and I have to learn how to live with that. I'm in a position right now where I am told that I am DONE having children when I DON'T want to be and I have to figure out HOW to process that or make changes in my life to deal with this. This shit is NOT easy. I cant go along with some mental idea that "Stella would want me to be "Happy"" or "Ill see her again some day so what is the point of grieving" or walk around shitting unicorns and rainbows.  That is fucking whacked. period. If you have lost a child you would know that.
Another thing is I really don't like people implying that I am failing my living children because I am grieving. If all you know about me is this blog you have no fucking clue and NO right to imply such blasphemy. Get fucked. I function every day. I get out of bed, I clean, cook, work, play with my children and function like any other "normal" living adult. Just because I come here to process my grief, and the darkest areas of it, does NOT mean I am not functioning in this world, or need meds, or have this "inner darkness" that is taking over my life.  I am pissed, I am grieving and I am not happy all the freaking time, but I am living and loving my children and in NO flipping way am I "failing them". I really can not believe some people. (rolls eyes out)
I know that it is difficult to comment or know what to say to a grieving mother, especially if you have never been there and have absolutely NO CLUE what this FEELS like. But please re-read what you feel before posting here please. There is no way to "fix me"  I am not going to take "meds"
Unless you can bring my baby back, give me another chance at pregnancy and birth and raising a baby, or want to offer hugs, love, support or want to actually physically get to know me. fuck off. please don't leave your "i know it all and your not grieving correctly bullshit" to your self.
thanks.