and its probably me. I am not sure what it is I "have to do" to learn how to adjust to this "new normal".
I need things to change for the better, I need something to adjust here in this "life" something to let me know what to do, where to turn, how to function. I feel like everything is a huge waste of time right now.
I have had offers to join a band and start drumming again. But I just don't know. I don't FEEL like i can do any of that right now. Its just not what I WANT. I WANT Stella, I WANT to be raising a baby and cloth diapering, and breastfeeding. That is what I really want. I want it so bad that I DON'T want anything else. I don't want to do ANYTHING else, at all. nothing. Nothing feels right and I am so sick of that. I am not the one who can just "fake it till you make it". I NEED to feel something before I just do it. I have to WANT to, or its just not going to work. I have made those bad decisions in the past and I am still regretting it. Even more so now really. What do I do? Where do I go from here. I cant just keep sitting here because the spot I am in now is fucking awful. How do other people "do" this!?!? I just don't get it. Why the fuck did this have to happen.
ten years
6 years ago
2 comments:
You can do this...I have faith in you and i know you can do it....I KNOW YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS...It is hard, really hard, but you can do it!
I agree with Amy, Krystal. I know you can do it! I wish I could tell you what would help but I have no idea. Everyone copes differently. You will find something that will help you get through this. I pray your husband changes his mind about not having anymore kids. I know a baby would help you a lot and I just wish he would understand. HUGS♥
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