Work Situations

I am not sure if i had ever got "into" the whole ordeal with my last job or not here on my blog. Lately it has been weighing hard on my heart about what I "should" be doing for a "living". I worked in childcare for over 10 years because I LOVE working with children. The pay sucks, but I had always enjoyed it to my core. Working in a childcare facility isn't my cup of tea really, but if i could find that one wonderful place it would be heaven, ESP if they paid enough to live off of on that job alone. Since childcare paid so crappy I always had to have a part time evening job waitressing or bartending. At one point when it was just me and my oldest daughter Briana, I was working 3 jobs at a time, all part time. Well I started working at the Grand Geneva Resort and Spa in Lake Geneva WI after leaving my 4 year stretch at Bright Beginnings childcare. This resort owns you once you sign your name on the papers to begin working there. I worked there upwards of 60 hours a week pulling in doubles and every weekend and holiday on the calender. The money was beyond excellent and I always had cash in my pocket. My husband and I paid off GINORMOUS medical bills from his graves' disease stint and saved up to 30 thousand dollars in that first year of us both working full-time. (that has since diminished with all the medical bills from Stella's demise and more medical bills and medical bills up the ass)
 Life was "grand".
Then after a year and a half of that we found out we were expecting a third child. I continued working just as much as i always had because now my husband was laid off and making only 1/4 of what he was. We moved to a more expensive home (300$ more a month) and we were making MUCH less than we were. So I kept on working and working. When i announced my pregnancy to upper management they demoted me and dropped my pay 3$ and hour. So i was working and doing the SAME job but making much less. The corporation I worked for (Marcus Corp.) is HUGE and wide spread. They made it so my position had never existed and there was no way for me to come after them for discrimination. those huge corporate places have their hoops and they know just which ones they can get away with. So on with my pregnancy and on with my work. Some nights i was working SO HARD that i would start having labor pains at 25weeks along so I would have to sit and relax. I was on my feet sometimes up to 16hours and with no breaks. It was INSANE. So I went to my midwife and asked for a note so that I could get less hours. This place is VERY corporate so you needed a Dr.s excuse for EVERYTHING! Well I sent in my MW note and they "rejected" it saying that they needed a "real Dr. note with a letter head from a known provider". So they put me on the schedule again for 3 doubles that weekend with one day up to 16 hours until 3-4am and back at 10am to open the bar for Sunday brunch. I was LIVID! I ended up having sever labor pains that Saturday night after 10+ hours on my feet with no break. I sat for an hour and ended up calling in the next day because i couldn't even walk my feet were so swollen and painful. I got the Dr. note and had it in my the next week so they would stop making me work so hard. I was about 30weeks allong at this point.
Then I decided to start a personal leave at 34 weeks and call it quits until 10 weeks post partum. So that was at the time Oct 4th- my due date Nov 13th all personal time. After that was a FIMAyay. and the work is again starting to fall on me and its all my responsibility to earn and provide insurance ect. I am PEEEEEEEVED. I really dont think i can go back to working 60 hour weeks at some corporate giant company that treats their employees like the dirt on the dust pan. I CANT and I WONT. (even though i am sure ill be pushed into it because my feeling really don't matter, i have learned that over the years... no one give a shit about you, just what you can do for them)  

So again I hear it. I need to take care of YOU. I need to do the WORK. What I am doing is just not good enough. The serious work while they dick off and do whatever they feel like. I feel so abused. My whole life I feel like i have just been taken advantage of. I have worked my ass off my whole life and I seem to get the shit end of the stick, continually.

I was also watching a child during the day for 3$ an hour M-Th. That turned out becoming "I am NUTS for watching some one elses child that is the age our dead child should be" and apparently that is not good for me (probably wasn't really) I felt like a lunatic after hearing that I was living vicariously through some one elses child. Maybe that is what I was doing? Or maybe it was a tactic to get me to go out and find something else to do that would bring in more $ for this family that isn't coming in right now. Because it is on me. I am so frustrated with life there are NO WORDS to actually describe it. Why is the pressure always on me? Why, when I work my ASS OFF is it NEVER appreciated? Never "good enough". Why fucking bother? 

Rant over.