What I Wish People KNEW

I know I am suppose to keep everything positive for the month and I will try to keep this on a more positive note, but it is HARD. Life is HARD, grief is REALLY HARD, and trying to make any sense of it is even harder. I am not sure if i write this blog to inform other of how tough it is to grieve a lost child, of if this is more for me to make sense of myself and cope with grieving, makes me feel like maybe I am "getting somewhere". I am not sure, most of the time I feel like I am walking in circles of grief.

Now most of these "truths" I have learned from my own personal experiences and most are not the most "optimistic" (I think I lost every last optimistic bone in my body 10-28-10) But they (I feel) are truths people should know. Maybe then people wouldn't "take for granted" something so precious as a child or pregnancy. 

I know topics like this are far more sensitive when it comes to baby loss mothers and maybe I just need to get a little steam off my shoulder, or thought out of my head. I see people like drug addicts that are pregnant, or people who abuse their children, and yes, even the blissfully naive couple awaiting their first child and I wonder.... What would stillbirth do to those people?  Why was I the one to be broken by this?
Would that druggie have changed by losing her child to what SHE did?
I feel she "got away with the abuse", I bet she thinks she can go on and continue such behavior with no repercussions.
Or the abusers, the people who physically and emotionally beat their children. Why aren't those children "saved by Jesus" from having to live through such anguish by the hands of their parents?
& I pray those naive blissful families dont have to endure this tragedy. Those are the majority however. Those wonderful people...broken. I look at a couple I know through work. They are seriously blissful. I cant even recognise the feeling, I am sure i was once there, but I can barely remember what it feels like, I wish I did. I hope those people wont have to become the broken mess I have.
But anyways... some points I wish people just knew. Abusers to the blissful alike.
Pregnancy does NOT= Baby
Baby does NOT= a toddler, a school-ager or a lifetime.
Children are a blessing, every second could be the last.
Being the parent left behind when your child goes to heaven is like living through hell.

Sorry to be the pessimistic explosion of tragedy, but its also fact. I just felt I had to get it out there after all the chatter on the FB page for The Secret Life. So many people disagreed with then airing the stillbirth episode like it should never happen. Yes, I WISH  it never did, but it does. As much as all the truth SUCKS, it still happens. sigh. Its just the way life is. Maybe if more people were aware of that, when shit hits the fan there wouldn't be such a "shock factor" involved. Or less people abusing or taking advantage of? Who knows?
Thanks for letting me vent a bit I need it from time to time.