I was reading the newspaper yesterday, which is not an often occurrence, and stumbled upon the obituaries. There were 2 people listed from the last month, both of whom were very very old. One of the women, whose name is Dorothy shared a birthday with Stella. She was born on October 28th 1910, 101 years before my little girl and went to live with the lord after a long life 101 years later on May 7th of this year. Oh how i wish my little girl got to live a life like that here in this world. The obituary that Stella was in consisted of her and a man who was also 101 years old. This just does not seem fair to me. How and WHY did my little girl have to die, for NO KNOWN medial reason!?!? Not get the chance to even take a breath on this earth!? Why did i have to get drugged and cut open for what seems to me now was no damn reason!? Why couldn't God let her love after putting me through something like that? I was at my aunts house celebrating her birthday, and even those are hurting me, celebrating birthdays. Stella will NEVER get to celebrate one birthday on this earth. That kills me inside. The day of her birth is suppose to be a joyous occasion, something celebrated every year. Not the day my soul was ripped from my body and i was stabbed in the heart for no good friggen reason that i will ever know, stuck on this earth to live and "just deal with it".
bullshit.
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