Empty shell

I can tell you who i was, once upon a time, no problem. But who i am now I haven't a clue. I can tell you for sure that the person she is I hate.
I was:
Outgoing, positive, happy, vivid, spontaneous, lovable, enjoyable, passionate, full of hobbies, musical, spiritual, willing, fit, healthy, natural, the list goes on with the positives this woman once possessed.
I am now nothing but a shell of that woman. People may look at me and see that woman, but inside she is gone, shes not here.
I was once a person so full of gusto and thrived on life, the air i breathed and the people i loved. I now feel like nothing but a burden upon the very air they all breathe. The rotten apple in the basket, the plague, the negative reminder of an unfruitful loss and the horrendous damage life can bring. I am the worst of life's measures.
Where did i go and why didn't i go with?!?!?
I feel like i shouldn't even be here.
I dont belong.
The shell is all that is left behind, until one day the very pressure of the world crushes it and it again returns to dust, sand on the beach. The sand others will walk upon and love. The sand others wont have to become. 
I was me and now i am gone. what is left? nothing but the memory of once was.
I live my life like a robot. No passion. No spirit. No excitement. No longing for tomorrow, unless it brings my demise and relief of this pain. No hope. I hate this.
I am sitting in my home, alone. The children are in bed, my niece and nephew, daughter and son. My husband left and went to the bar. He left me alone in such despair with a quick "I love you" as he was half way out the door. and here i am. and will remain until God lays his had upon my soul and releases me of this life. Oh i feel so fucking loved.

I am an empty shell and my pearl was robbed.