I dreamed of you.....

Last night I dreamed of you. I have only dreamed of you but a couple of times. Both times you were the age you should be at the time had you lived. You came to show me that you could walk now. I was so excited to show the rest of the family all you can do now. I knew all along in the dream that you couldnt stay and once you fell asleep that you would be gone again. I had to expalin it to everyone watching in the dream. Your lips were that dark burgundy of your lifeless body I remembered and have pictures of. You legs were also very dark. Your body was having a hard time holding up while you were here. You could talk too, but you never moved your lips. It was more of a mental telepathy how we spoke. After a long visit you had to "go back" and couldn't stay awake. You laid in a laundry basket a top a pile of clothes as I looked over your body again, hugged and kissed you as you fought drifting off to "sleep". You were just as I wouldve imagined you at 14 1/2 months old. You looked much more like your brother Eli then we thought you wouldve and a lot more like me but with reddish brown hair and hazel eyes like Dad. God do I miss you Stella. I wish you could have stayed or I in that dream forever. Its not fair I only get to see my little girl in dreams sporadically. But if that is the only way I guess I'll take it and sleep a lot more.