Time Restraints

There are so many people that have helped me in this wretched time in my life. Just been there to help out, a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, a hug. Then there are people that are very concerned with "how" i am "healing". I have read all the different "time frames" when people are expected to "heal" from such a tragedy. How can there be "time limits" on such a process?!? One counselor stated
"After 6 months, if the person is still depressed, its time to seek help."  Some others i know were given a year to just fall apart and be. Some other people are giving themselves just a few months. Is there a time restriction on how long and hard one can grieve?!? Really though, 6 months!? It takes a woman 9 months to carry a baby and prepare, and even usually 9 months for her body to recover from the pregnancy itself. HOW could one grieve the loss of their CHILD in only 6 months?! Like all is going to just be honky dory and OK after only 6 months? It will take longer for my physical body to return to its "normal" state than 6 months! But my soul, heart and mind should be "fixed" sooner? I honestly don't believe this is something ANYONE can get over EVER. Its BULLSHIT. I am forever broken and that is all there is to it. Maybe someday ill be able to smile and say, life isn't so bad. But i highly doubt it will be with in the next 2 months. Maybe i do need to sit down and pull out my long sob story to some stranger. Will it make a difference? I highly doubt it and i wont be subject to Xanax or some other "antidepressants". Its just not how i roll. I spill my guts DAILY to strangers all over the globe on here and it still hurts. I still ache for my sweet little Stella to be in my arms. I WANT THAT SO BAD. & i doubt some educated counselor can understand that, unless of course they carried a baby for 9 months, planned for a perfect home birth and had it all literally cut out of them and taken away. Then i think they would be in this same boat and wouldn't give me any "time limit" on my grieving or "healing process". I sure hope i can start writing about some kind of positive thing occurring in my life soon......
That may be a good start on "healing". Maybe i should start that. Post one positive thing everyday.

My positive post of the day:

*We are going on a vacation to the Dells with the kids this weekend. I hope i can climb out of this depression and enjoy myself, especially since i am SURE i will see a million 4 month old baby girls there. (And that scares me.)
*My cousin fixed my hair last night after i dyed it a MESSED up reddish goth teenage angst color. (DONT TRUST THE BOX! Always leave it to professionals) Its now black with the purply reddish crap going on, not so IN YOUR FACE looking. Sigh.........

Maybe these 2 1/2 positives = 1 in some way. : /

God bless, and thanks for reading.

~Krystal