Foul

Today I am in just a really foul mood. I feel like everything is just crumbling down upon me once again. I have been working a TON and spending all my energy there. Which leaves me none for home life or my kids. I feel so frustrated that my husband gets to spend all his time at home while I work my rear off, and I feel I have no appreciation for all I do outside of the home. It leaves me drained and so weak. I have 4 more days of non-stop work and I can't even fathom how I am going to get through it, esp feeling the way I do now. All I want to do is sleep. When my energy is so low like this, it seems everything comes crashing back into my face. I long for the life that included my sweet Stella. I want that life. That extra added JOY. Everyday seems so bleak and gray with out that sweetness of a little new child. I feel like I have been running a marathon in circles and there is no end, no finish line, no reward. Just continual work. I cant wait for the end. How sad is that? I wish I could enjoy the run. But the scenery is wet, cold and gray. Wind in my face and people sitting on the side lines in the sun. All while I just run in the cold rain.