If I'm stronger, healing or turning into a robot or to stone from all this fucked up shit life brings to me. I just don't know. But deep I side I'm still hurting. It feels like their is this thick inpenatratable barrier that surrounds my heart and its growing around my soul too. Protecting me from this mean world. It's really quite sad. I remember being so open to this life, to all around me. But it hurt. It was nothing but disappointment and hurt. I miss the feeling of being light and carefree, open and accepting to all that came. Now I accept the mess with a nod. The familiar unrelenting evil that dwells to eat up my happiness. No dreams for you. No no no. Just work and serve others around you who care none to appreciate that. They eat it up like monsters devouring my heart. And since I love them, I give. I bend and bend with no support or tenderness.
O'well.
ten years
6 years ago
1 comments:
I so relate to not knowing if I'm healing or turning colder. I feel "better", as in not overcome with anguish, but I wouldn't say that I feel light or carefree.
It's hard. I'm sorry that you are hurting. And I'm sorry that you feel unappreciated - maybe saying something would help.
(((hugs)))
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